The story of Rafael Zohler is one of true love. The unique gift that his dying father left behind can prove to the most die-hard pessimist that love can transcend even death.
When Rafael was just 8 years old, his father was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer. He was just 27 years old. The young father knew he was going to die, but he didn't want to tell his son. Instead, in their final hours together, they sat brainstorming plans for the future and dreaming of fishing adventures yet to come. When his father passed, Rafael was completely heartbroken. The only thing that kept him going was a final "sign of life" that his father left behind. A nurse handed Rafael a series of letters written by his father that were meant to guide him through his entire adult life.
The envelopes didn't have any addresses on them, but rather small notes. The first envelope read, "When I am no longer there." Rafael opened this first letter:
"My Son,
If you are reading this, I've already passed. I'm sorry that I kept the truth from you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to see you cry. It was my decision. I think that someone who's faced with death is allowed to be a little egotistical. There is so much that I want to show you - so much that you can't understand now. So, I've written these letters.
Please open them at the moments written on the envelopes, okay? It's our secret deal. I love you. Take care of Mom. You are now the man of the house.
In love,
Your Papa
P.S. There are no letters for Mom - she got the car instead."
Rafael was both enthralled and comforted by this unique goodbye gift. It almost felt as if his dad was still with him, tucked away in a series of envelopes in a beautiful wooden box. There was a letter for every momentous occasion and Rafael followed his father's wishes, opening the next letter at the moment his dad had written on the envelope.
Rafael got older and continually turned to the words of his father - especially in the rough phase of puberty. At age 15, Rafael got in a huge fight with his mom about her new boyfriend. He thought the man was a low-life and didn't deserve his mom's time. He got a smack across the face for voicing his opinion. But even then, his father stood by his side. Rafael turned to the envelope titled, "When you've had a huge fight with Mom":
"Talk to her and ask for her forgiveness. I don't know who started it and who is right, but I know your mom. Talk to her and apologize. That's the best thing you can do.
She is your mom and she loves you more than anything in this world. Did you know that she gave birth to you without any painkillers because someone told her it would be better for you? Have you ever seen a woman in childbirth? Do you need any more proof of her love?
Apologize and she will forgive you.
I love you.
Your dad"
Rafael was always surprised by how fitting his father's advice was. His dad wasn't a novelist by any means, but a numbers guy. Even so, the 15-year-old took his words to heart. He approached his mom and said he was sorry, showing her the letter. As they were making up, they both felt as if Rafael's father was there with them, taking part in their moment of family bonding.
It was a few years before it was time for Rafael to open the next letter. Finally the day came when he could open the envelope that said, "When you've lost your virginity":
"Congrats my son!
Don't worry, it gets better with time. The first time is always a little scary. My first time was with a rather unattractive lady who was much more experienced than I was.
I was afraid you might ask your mother what "virginity" was when you read this envelope...
In love,
Your father"
For every difficult and joyous time in his life, Rafael got a letter from his dad filled with comforting, calming or sometimes funny sentiments. When Rafael started a family, he opened the next envelope titled, "When you've become a father":
"Now you know what true love is, my son. You thought it was love for a woman. But actually, true love is what you feel for the little being by your side. I don't know if it's a little boy or girl.
Whichever it is, enjoy it! Time passes incredibly fast, so stay close. Don't let the moments get away from you - they'll never come back. Change those diapers, bathe that kid. Above all: Be someone to look up to. I know you have it in you to be a great father, my boy."
Even though Rafael stayed true to the promise he'd made to only open the letters at the appropriate times, he broke the rule one time and opened a letter titled, "If you realize you are gay" (even though he wasn't):
"What should I say? Thank God I'm dead. JUST kidding: I've come to a point that I've realized we give too much attention to unimportant things. Did you think something would change about how I feel for you? Don't be dumb, be happy with yourself!"
Every letter touched Rafael's heart and most put a smile on his face, though a few brought tears to his eyes. At first he didn't even want to open the envelope titled, "When your mother dies." These four words imprinted on his heart,
"Now she's with me."
His father's words guided Rafael through the good times and bad until he opened a letter at a time when most people feel afraid. At the ripe old age of 85 years, surrounded by machines and in his final hours, Rafael opened the final letter titled, "When your time has come":
"Hello my son!
I hope you are reading this at a very old age. This was the first letter I wrote all those years ago and it was the easiest. It took away the pain I felt in losing you. I think you start to see more clearly when you're near the end of your life. You can be more direct.
The last few days I've thought a lot about my life. It was short, but beautiful. I was your dad, your mom's husband - what more could I ask for? With these accomplishments I can go in peace - and now it's your turn to find your peace.
My only advice is: Have no fear.
P.S. I miss you."
And thus Rafael's story and life came to a close. It is such a heartwarming gesture that shows how our loved ones stay with us. Even if they aren't there in the form of letters, they remain with us in spirit or memory. What a lovely thought: that some part of us lives on in the loved ones we leave behind.
