To be married for 25 years is an amazing achievement, even when you have no obvious obstacles holding you back in your life. Kris Scharoun-DeForge and her now late husband Paul were married in 1993. As a Down’s Syndrome marriage, the road was not always easy for both of them. Although so many people had doubts about their marriage, they have shown the world love can overcome anything that others may see as a disadvantage. The couple lived happily in Syracuse, New York, where they enjoyed the same simple pleasures as many of us. From cooking at home to bowling and attending local dances together, the two cherished every minute they could. Their 25th anniversary fell on the 13th of
August, 2018, and at the time, it was thought to be the longest Down’s Syndrome marriage in history, a small feat compared to the inspiration they brought.
The Down’s syndrome marriage that was a symbol of hope
Kris Scharoun’s sister Susan admitted that she “just wanted more people
to see Kris and Paul as role models for what people with disabilities
can be.” She felt that “they were a complement as a couple. They had
each other’s backs.” Susan said that “they just treated each other so
well.” When the couple first met, they instantly fell in love, and Kris
revealed that she “looked into Paul’s eyes and saw my future.” Susan
later explained that their marriage was “a role model for unconditional
positive regard in a relationship.” She felt that the bond between them
was “an unconditional love.”
Last year was bittersweet for Kris Scharoun-DeForge and Paul DeForge. The two, who both have Down syndrome, celebrated 25 years of marriage by renewing their vows. But Paul, who had dementia, moved into an intensive care facility away from his wife. Less than a year after their silver anniversary, Paul died at 56 from complications of dementia. He’ll be remembered in years to come, and their Down’s Syndrome marriage will be too. For years, the couple lived together in a state-supported apartment within a housing project for those living with disabilities. Both Paul and Kris worked jobs and were completely independent. Paul worked at the Arc of Onondaga, which is an organization for people with disabilities. Meanwhile, Kris worked at the People with Developmental Disabilities’ NY State Office. It would take a long time for her to adjust to living without her partner.
Susan said it was so hard breaking the news to Kris
“We had to tell her he wasn’t going to come back and it became really
difficult for her.” Although, she said they had shared “some very good
moments in the last year.” Before Paul passed, she said that Kris’
“presence was very calming to him.” Susan felt that “they should define
their own lives.” She continued, stating that “we should ask them more
questions about what they want.” She showed faith, saying that “they
know what is good for them.” When Kris had returned to work and began to
show an interest in her hobbies, Susan felt “Kris is surrounded by love
… I am so unbelievably grateful.” She admitted that “it will be a long
time before she is completely healed but she is slowly getting there.”
